Saturday, February 19, 2011

Take 5 - Week of 2/20

Walt Disney always famously introduced us to the idea, “It’s a Small World After All”, but Walt never had to consider what his opponent’s four-bet range was on an uncoordinated flop, and something like Rush PLO would have melted his face off faster than the lost ark. Let’s face it, the small world is passé: It’s a big world of poker out there.

So what I want to do is this: Each week, I’d like to ruminate (which is legal in my state) on the world of poker, in my utter imitable style, by which I mean I’d like to take real poker things and occasionally make stuff up about them, for the purposes of laughs and mutual enjoyment. Hopefully, we’ll all learn something, or at least I’ll get paid*.

So if you don’t know what happened last week, and (more importantly) you still don’t want to know when you’re done, check out my dumb list.

5. Eastgate Returns. The entire world was stunned when 2008 WSOP Main Event winner Peter Eastgate was walking away from the poker world. Well, OK, not the WHOLE world, but the 2+2 forums started several separate threads, which turned into memes, which turned, like 96% of 2+2 threads, into Photoshopped collages of cookies that look like TJ Cloutier. Where was I? Oh yeah, his retirement ended last week. My guess is that he got drunk and accidentally misclick-blocked himself from his online accounts and was embarrassed to admit it. Or maybe he just remembered that he is really good at poker.

4. High Stakes Poker Shakeup. Word came down that the well-liked host of HSP has been shown the door in favor of professional funnyman and amateur poker player Norm MacDonald, who will be providing commentary over the next season’s action. I have no explanation for this, but my suggestions include:

• HSP producers are looking for somebody who will say “crack whore” at least five times an hour (Kaplan was stuck at a woeful 1.2 CWpH).

• This is all an elaborate set-up for an inevitably underwhelming “Welcome Back Kotter” campaign.

• AJ Benza’s elaborate revenge scheme, step 14 of 86.

*In the interest of full disclosure: I get 50 chicken nuggets for this, still warm.

Read the rest at Poker From the Rail

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