Sunday, January 9, 2011

Best of Formspring 001

One of my favorite online discoveries (hat tip: Real Dawn Summers) of 2010 was Formspring, a sort-of social media thing that lets people ask you anonymous questions. Then you answer them onymously. It's like a press conference, except the person answering is just saying a bunch of stupid crap.

So, it's exactly like a press conference.

Want to ask me a question? Ask me here.

I have gotten a lot of questions. Here are a few of my favorite questions and/or answers over the last month or so, which you may enjoy, if you haven't been following along, or if you have been following along but have forgotten about them, and then you're like, 'Oh yeah! That was a pretty good answer to that question! Oh, Goat, you're a funny ruminant.'

Or maybe you'll hate them. Now I'm crying.


Are the contents from Marcellus Wallace's briefcase in Pulp Fiction, the same as that weird crap contained in the mystery cave from the Lost island? If so, HOW is this possible?

Obviously, Ben Linus stole some of it in a briefcase when he was on the island and brought it to one of his Jacobian operatives who was not in Widmore's faction. Unfortunately, the operative, Marcellus Wallace, entrusted it to one of his lackeys. This lackey, code named "Flock of Seagulls", alerted his friend Brad, who was secretly in Eloise Hawking's group. Brad and Flock and Buddy and Clarence absconded with the briefcase, intending to deliver it to Hawking. Unfortunately for them, Clarence was still loyal to the Linus faction and betrayed them to Jules and Vincent. Jules and Vincent were shot to death by Buddy, but the island wouldn't let them die. Miraculously spared, Jules and Vincent took different paths after they returned the island light to the Linus faction. Jules wandered off, walked the land, built houses with Sayid, and eventually wound up on the island assisting Hurley. Vincent, however, provided Butch with a needed pop-tart wake up call, and, his destiny fulfilled, was finally allowed to die.

I thought everybody knew this.

what's your VPIP UTG in MTT's?

FYI, my data shows that I play ATC like a LAG. FWIW, when I check OPR I see that my ROI is FTW on Stars, but on FTP it is FML. So I got that going for me.

would you rather receive pointers or Border Collies?

Man, I tell you. Some people have got some weird fetishes.

So, what should we expect from 2011?

I think it is certain to lead to 2012. This sets a dangerous precedent.

What are other things I predict for 2011? Here they are!

* I will, at some point, eat pizza.

* Sarah Palin will announce on her Twitter feed that she intends to run for (and I quote) "precedence of America".

* Twelve creatures will appear in the sky. One will have the appearance of a lion. One will have the appearance of an eagle. One will have the appearance of a calf. One will have the appearance of a man with feet of clay. The rest will look like cast members of Jersey Shore. They will give everybody free fake tans and then disappear.

* Jimmy Kimmel will steal The Tonight Show from Jay Leno and he and Craig Ferguson will play "keep away" with it.

* Stephen King will write a book about a Foreman Grill . . . from HELL.

* Tiger Woods will take at least one hostage.

* The Sun will continue its 100,000 year streak of being voted "favorite star" by the planet Earth.

Icee or slush puppie?

Slush. And don't call me 'puppie.'

why is printer ink so expensive?

It is made with unicorn blood.

Obama has/hasn't broken all/most of his campaign promises. Discuss.

This will be a long one.

That's a pretty good question -- but it's also a very complex and difficult one, given that (a) Obama made a huge number of campaign promises, so we'd have to treat each one in kind; (b) in a very logical way, I think one must conclude that a true accounting won't be possible until the end of his term and (c) a "kept" promise or a "broken" one is sometimes a subjective thing.

On point (b), if you are interested in an on-the-fly accounting, here's a site I've been following that I find helpful and very detailed:

Most of the promises are in some sort of transitional place, but for the ones the site is willing to weigh in definitively, we have 123 kept vs. 24 broken. I don't know what your expectations are in terms of campaign promises, but for my money that's not too bad.

However, I think as you go through it and disagree with some analysis of "kept" promises or "broken" promises, you'll see what I mean about these definitions being subjective.

On the point of subjectivity, we live in a society that is often very dualistic. Something is either this or that, black or white, with us or against us. I don't think it's always that simple, but it can mean that a campaign promise that did not deliver in exactly the way that the person hearing it expected it to, or along the exact timeframe that that person expected it, can be seen as a promise broken. I've read several times that repealing DADT is a promise 'broken', and yet here we are: Repealed. I read many times in early 2009 that closing Guantanamo was a promise "kept", and yet it is still open.

And yet . . . to what extent is Obama to receive praise for repealing DADT, when it was Joe Lieberman who really carried the water for it, while Obama seemed to have worked either in the background or on the sidelines? And yet again. . . to what extent is Obama to blame for Guantanamo still being open, when he has faced a recalcitrant Congress terrified of governing in any way regarding terrorism least they be blamed in some way for a future terrorist attack or villified in the media and attacked in an upcoming election? It's possible that we could call the one that is "kept" "broken" and the one that is "broken" "kept".

I think that governing is a messy business, and politics even more so; I also think that sometimes it is easy but incorrect to pass judgement early on what might happen based on what seems to have happened. Obama did not say he would do all these things at once, nor would a reasonable person expect him to.

The larger question, I think, is: Has Barack Obama been governing in way consistent with the vision he presented as a candidate? In this, he is a mixed bag to me (though again we are only halfway through this story). I voted for Barack Obama for two primary reasons:

First, because he struck me as somebody more important in governing strategically than in winning smaller tactical battles. Basically, he seemed like somebody who had his priorities straight, somebody who would approach the position with the kind of probity and sober judgment that was appropriate and required. I think he has been exactly this, and for this reason I remain deeply grateful that he won the election. I think he was by far the best person available for the job in 2008. If the thought of a President McCain does not give you chills after the display he's put on for the last two weeks . . . we see the world quite differently.

Secondly, I voted for Obama, because I felt that, in the face of rapidly expanding executive power and erosion of civil liberty under Bush, he would be far more likely to walk back the excesses of the PATRIOT Act, the growing surveillance state, the idea of torture being an actual thing that we do, and especially the grotesque executive exemption for habeas corpus. In this, he's been disappointing. I should say that I didn't think it was very likely that anybody would give this up -- power doesn't often give up power -- but I had certainly hoped for more walk-back than this. The WikiLeaks thing has been a disappointment among disappointments in this category. The best I can say is that he hasn't walked it forward. But it is vital that we do more than just stop our mad dash away from being a free society (I do find it somewhat amusing that the same people who found a torture program, a war we were lied into, thousands of illegal wiretaps, and the president claiming the right to hold citizens without legal recourse to be necessary to our safety, also finally got their freedom on when such totalitarian policies as a fee for buying health insurance and the suggestion that we end a decade-long tax holiday were on the table). It is vital that we stop letting our fear of a handful of occasionally well-organized thugs define us in such profound ways. We actually need to repair the damage that our leaders did to us in the years following 9-11, and there has been precious little of that.

However. As I said before, it's not done yet. I am willing to wait and see what happens.

if eskimos have 80 different words for "snow" , how many words do goats have for "weed" ?

420, har, har, har. No, but seriously, we goats only have one word for weeds. We call it "snow." Crazy, right?

Well, except for Eskimo goats. Eskimo goats have 80 different words for "weed." Basically, it's not the snow specifically; Eskimos just really love making up words for things. They built Greenland to hold their only dictionary. A conversation requires a massive conversion wheel (which need to be stored; this is why igloos are round) in order to look up new or obscure meanings of common words like "yes" or "she" or "potato pancake." I think this needs looking into.

would you answer the same question twice?


would you answer the same question twice?


1 comment:

Dawn Summers said...

Keep rubbing it in, Astin/Goat. Yes, you win at formspring. I don't even remember my login!