I found this fun new social media thing called formspring.me -- well, to be precise, the Real Dawn Summers found it and tweeted it, and then I went there. As the RDS puts it, this application gives you the opportunity to field questions and act like you're president Obama in a press conference (for my Republican readers, you can pretend you are president Bush if it works for you, or dream big and pretend you are president Palin).
Anyway, somehow people got the idea I was into LOST, and I've been getting some very good questions, including some that I think expand and clarify points I've been making in these timeline posts. So here you go. All the LOST questions and other ones I found amusing.
Click here to ask about LOST or whatever else you like.
Is Jacob dead?
I'd say he's mostly dead.
How do a woman named Eloise Hawking and a man named Charles Whitmore have a son named Daniel Faraday? Any idea where that last name comes from?
No clue there. Maybe "Danielfaraday" is his first name. All one word.
Does ANYONE on LOST have a good relationship with their father?
Wait. Jin. But he is kind of embarrassed of him for just being a fisherman. But then he gets over that.
So, Jin. That's the whole list.
In Season 5, when they're evacuating the island, why don't they insist on everyone taking a "tranquilizer" before getting in the sub?
Correct me if I am wrong (I've only watched most eps. once) but I am pretty sure that OJ tranqs. are about to be administered to Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate right before they hijack the sub.
Is anything that's been attributed the Jacob so far ACTUALLY been Jacob? Or is it all the Nemesis and Jacob's just acting quietly behind the scenes?
I think you are basically correct in that assessment. I think that Jacob has been active but his influence is usually unnoticed. I think that the two people who have most wanted meaning and belonging, Ben and Locke, were also the two most susceptible to a Fake Jake.
Best superhero ever? And why is he/she better than Plastic Man?
The best superhero ever is Triangle Man. I'll prove it:
Triangle Man, Triangle Man.
Triangle Man hates Plastic Man.
They have a fight, Triangle wins.
Whose power is better: Miles' or Hurley's?
I'm going to say Miles, since he has a little control over it. Look at the results: Miles is cranky; Hurley thinks he's insane.
You can go back in time to change one thing. What do you change?
I, like Patton Oswalt, would return to 1988 and kill George Lucas with a shovel. Han Solo shot first.
Why doesn't this whole time travel thing confuse me at all?
Because you are from the future.
What's the #1 question you want answered on LOST?
What is the nature of the conflict between Jacob and the Nemesis, and how does that inform the various factions (Jacobians, Dharma, off-islanders, etc.) and their motivations?
Given that Christian was never actually ON the island when he was alive, why is he such a central character? And why does the Nemesis like to dress up like him so much?
I don't think we should be so sure, given what we know of the sorts of people that show up as "ghosts", that Christian was never on the island when he was alive. We have just never SEEN him alive on the island. I think we need to consider the very real possibility that he was one of the island-aware, off-island Jacobians, of one faction or another.
Why does Sawyer change his name in the past, but nobody else does?
I think it was a nicknaming malfunction. His nickname generator exploded and stuck LaFleur all over him.
Do you have a theory on why Sun didn't flash back?
No, I really have no idea. Every theory I had was invalidated by the end of Season 5. Maybe as I work through the story, something will occur to me. Right now, it just seems like a dramatic device to keep her and Jin apart, and to have at least one Oceanic on the island in "real" time at the end of Season 5. Crazy that Sun in the Sole Survivor. Where's her $1 million, Probst?
I miss Charlie. Is he coming back? Is there any chance that people who died aren't really dead? Say yes.
If my theories are correct, we'll see most if not all of the dead characters again.
I miss Charlie, too.
Which character from which book would you play in a movie?
Now that is a fantastic question.
I guess we'd have to break this down into two catagories: (1) Who would I WANT to play, and (2) which part would fit?
Who would I want to play? Hmm. I don't think it gets much cooler than Phillip Marlowe in "The Long Goodbye". Runner up would be Rabo Karabekian in "Bluebeard."
As for who I would best fit, I'm going to say I would probably do OK as Yossarian in Catch 22.
Remember how it was SO SO SO SO important that Aaron wasn't raised by anybody except Claire? Are they ever going to revisit that?
I actually have a theory on this. I'll flesh it out soon.
Top 5 shows currently on TV? (Not right this minute...this year.)
There are lots of great shows out there, I'm sure, that I'm not watching. However, the best on my radar right now are:
1) LOST. Uh, duh.
2) It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. The evolutionary "Seinfeld." So, so, funny. So, so, wrong.
3) The Office - I think it's extraordinary how much they've made us care about these insane people.
4) Parks & Recreation - Coming on VERY strong right now.
5) 30 Rock - Fading but still hilarious.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I cannot believe I forgot "Mad Men", which would come in at number 2, easily]
Which Lostie would you want to be BFFs with - hang out, go to movies, eat lunch together, etc?
I think you have to first ask, "Is this person likely to kill me?"
I'd say Hurley is the only one where the answer is definitely "no," so I think he takes the prize.
Failing that, I'd go with Jacob, and hopefully he'd explain what was going on.
What are your kids like?
They are absolutely beautiful. Funny. Silly. Very smart.
The youngest is about the happiest two-year-old imaginable. It's eerie how good-natured she is. Also: hilarious.
Each twin is a really fun, intelligent, energetic little girl. One is extroverted, very take-charge, task and rule oriented, and loves all things princess and super hero, in that order. One is a little more introverted (though she still loves making new friends), I suspect more right-brained, and very very tall. She is a big fan of superheroes and princesses, in that order.
I think they are all great. I sort of love them a lot.
Wait...you think that Libby was a Jacobian?
I sure do!
Is Sayid a good guy or a bad guy? Is it bad that i totally love him even though he's a huge killing machine?
Sayid's a good guy to have on your side. He's one of my very favorite characters, so you have my permission to love him.
Who are you rooting for as a couple: Kate-Sawyer or Kate-Jack? Also, who would be the best couple of ALL the characters we've met?
I could care less about either couple. I guess Kate and Jack kind of deserve each other.
The best couple? Hurley and Charlie.
When Daniel dies on the island, he has the journal. Probably his mother, Eloise takes it. Let's assume she holds onto it. 20-some years later, when she buys the journal for Daniel, are there now two of those journals in the house?
You just blew my mind, man.
I would presume that she holds on to the old one and Daniel takes the new one. But that does mean that from that point, the journal exists in two places. So Eloise Hawking presumably still has it in 2009.
I wonder if that will become a plot point.
How annoying is Kate? I think she's as annoying as she is hot.
The way that the character of Kate makes no sense results in her being pretty annoying. Adding to it the fact that Kate is extremely self-interested, and it almost makes the hotness not worth it. Almost.
So the Others keep talking about how John is their leader, but then he dies before he actually does ANY kind of leading. Is he dead? What's the deal?
I presume you mean in 2009 when the Ajira flight returns to the island.
In 2009, the Locke they are following is the Nemesis in Locke clothing. The real Locke looks to be pretty dead, but the Jacobians have no way of knowing that.
As for why they follow him, I think it is a case of self-fulfilling prophecy. The Jacobians consider Locke their leader because he came out of time 55 years ago to tell them he was their leader. He's seemingly ageless, he has been healed by Jacob. Even though his path to leadership is unorthodox, he fits the bill. Also, their only other leader, Ben, has been AWOL for 3 years.
Add to that the fact that their shaman/whatever, Richard, is convinced through all of these Lockeish mysteries, AND the fact that Locke is in-tune enough with the island to know exactly where shot-in-the-leg Locke will be . . . I think they probably just see the hand of Jacob behind it all.
Of course, now that they see that Locke is actually dead, who knows what their reaction to Faux Locke will be? The Nemesis probably doesn't care, as he's already gotten his stab on.
And SPEAKING of things that make no sense...what's the story behind the hatch that seemed to exist only for the purpose of watching the Hatch and writing down what they did and then sending the notebooks into a big field?
The Pearl? It appears to have been a double-blind experiment. Or, perhaps, a triple-blind. The idea based on the training tape was to monitor the Swan activity. The people monitoring it were told that it was their work that was the TRUE experiment, and that the people working in the Swan were under the impression that the meaningless task they were performing was important.
We now know the reality, which is that the Swan work was extremely important, and the Pearl Station monitors were likely there in order to alert Dharma HQ if Radzinsky/Inman finally lost their bologna and stopped pushing the button.
Wait...i'm reading your LOST blog...When did they show up thousands or hundreds of years ago? I don't remember that leap.
It's the very last leap.
It's the one when Locke is going down the Orchid well and suddenly FLASH Sawyer is just holding a rope going into the ground. Locke falls, breaking his leg really bad, and finds himself in the time/wheel chamber. Meanwhile up groundside, Miles/Jin/Sawyer/Juliet look around and see the statue, fully formed.
It really could be anytime before the statue was destroyed and the well was built. I think we're meant to tie it to around the point in time when Jacob had his conversation with the Nemesis over by the statue.
It's probably a couple hundred years or so. Thousands just sound so much more dramatic.
Are you sick of all the LOST questions yet?
I think it should be clear by now that I have a tolerance for talking about LOST that approaches infinity.
Jack/Sawyer/John - Who is best?
John Locke, though Sawyer was really coming on there.
What's the story with Walt? They make a big deal out of his being "special" all the first two seasons, and then they just kind of dropped it. Did i miss something?
Nope, I think you described the Walt situation pretty well there. There's still hope that the writers will try to resolve it, but not much. It is pretty much doomed to be the largest unresolved plot thread.
What in the world was the purpose for the Others to have all those disguises and ways of sneaking around the island? There wasn't anyone else there for YEARS!
It's a very good question.
I really don't know the answer to that. I think it's one of those that has been, well, lost. It's not at all clear why they would want the Oceanics to think that they were a bunch of hobos, except maybe to allow Jack & Co. to underestimate them.
Maybe the island's unique time/space situation makes it so it is always casual Friday?
When you were at a Phish concert did anyone ever hand you an evangelistic tract?
No. But one guy promised not to steal my grilled cheese sandwich.
I don't think I am really stupid, but why is it that I don't ever really know what/who you are talking about?
I would have to know who you are before I could answer with any accuracy.
But it's probably because either I myself am really stupid, and/or am inside-joking with Lost freaks, Phish fans, and poker bloggers.
Airwolf or A-Team?
Serious questions only, please.
Why won't hoy shut up about Avatar? It is really pissing me off.
You are asking the guy who's written 800,000 words on a single television show?
I guess you'd have to ask Hoy. I'm guessing James Cameron is paying him off. Otherwise, he might have really liked the movie a lot.
Who is the best hero ever?
How long until computers become sentient? And would you download all of your thoughts into a computer?
Six years, seventeen days, four hours, fifty-nine minutes and three seconds.
I already have. I'm accessing this site through the Wayback Machine site. It travels through time now.
What made you happy as a kid?
Reading "Pogo" and "Tintin" with my dad. Playing soccer and basketball. Running around barefoot. Getting filthy. Scooby Doo, the Dukes of Hazard, the A Team, and the Superfriends. The way comic books smelled. Building dams in streams. Star Wars. Thinking about Star Wars. Monkeys. Reading good books. Forts.
Being a kid is pretty much awesome, right?
Does your attendance at a Phish concert mean that you're a hippie?
I doubt that I would impress anybody as a hippie, though I suppose everybody needs to define "hippie" for themselves.
What it primarily means is that I am into good, interesting, and diverse music that takes risks and manages to surprise and amaze..
Why don't people think I am as funny as I think I am?
I don't know who you are, so I can't possibly speculate. I guess it's probably because everybody else is wrong.
I know that when you went to see Phish you wanted them to play your favorite song "Julius". Did you see the irony in that they played it as an encore the night before your show?
Yes, I did make note of it. Sometimes your reaching just pushes it further away.
Why did it take so long for you to win a MTT?
It has a lot to do with my not being very good at poker.
Do you have pets?
An orange tabby who is 89% ass, a little black cat, and a very sweet mutt who thinks she is a cat.
How much of a jerk do you think Jack from Lost is?
He is a pretty big jerk, though I think he wants his heart to be in the right place. It seems like he does heroic things in order to feel like a hero, rather than because he cares about people. I like how long the show takes to come to the fact that he's a very broken person.
On the other hand, he is fairly resourceful, brave, and loyal. He's not all bad.
What's your favorite book? Movie?
That's impossible. Really. Maybe I could make a top ten. This will have to do: One of my very favorite books, and the one that today jumps to mind, is "The Brothers Karamazov." One of my very favorite movies, and the one that today jumps to mind, is "2001: A Space Odyssey."
I read that the big surprise for the series finale of LOST is going to involve Locke, Christian, Claire, and Charlie, to form up as Voltron, with the Smoke Monster as the head. Can you confirm or deny this rumor?
Yes, but sadly they will form the car Voltron, not the lion Voltron. Our childhoods are destroyed once again.
Who was blogger crusher?
I have no idea who Blogger Crusher was. But I do find it interesting that the smoke monster would always appear right around the same time as him.
Are vampires rock-hard and super-cool like Edward or really creepy and horrible like Dracula?
I think you mixed the adjectives up with the subjects in that question.
Anyway, vampires are neither. They are soulless fictional beings that can only be stopped by the Chosen One, like in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Why don't you ever do anything on Facebook?
Is there anything to do on Facebook? I hadn't noticed.
Is it true that someone must be dead before their likeness is allowed to adorn a note of U.S. Currency?
At the very least, they need to be totally passed out.
How did the Scottish King, William the Lion, acquire his nickname?
He won it in a craps game with T.J. Cloutier.
would you agree that the whole L O S T series is nothing more than an indictment on how ancient Egyptian history has been interpreted and then changed by Judea-christian leaders in order to sway the world that aliens never existed????
No. The whole L O S T series is actually a complex delivery method for the CIA's encrypted instructions to me, as I conduct my top-secret but critically important mission to stop the dentists from putting demons into our teeth.
Benjamin Linus. Discuss.
Benjamin Linus is a sad little boy who got shot in the chesticle and became a deeply creepy man. He's also the smoke monster's murder weapon. It was the Nemesis, in the Statue Plinth, with the Benjamin Linus.
What's your worst quality?
It's probably my absent-mindedness. It can often make people think I don't care. Otherwise, it is my total obsession with LOST. After that, it's probably my sometimes-unhealthy desire to avoid conflict.
OMG, your absent-mindedness drives me insane. Wait, that's not a question. Oh well.
I don't think you are taking this interview seriously.
How hot is your wife?
She's super hot. Actually, I think she's getting hotter. I figure by the time we are in our sixties, she'll have gone supernova.
As one might expect, I resemble a bridge troll.
How hot is your wife?
I don't know what about my previous answer wasn't enough for you, but let me tell you something, buddy, no matter how many times you ask how hot my wife is, you ain't getting nudie pictures.
Seriously: HOW HOT IS YOUR WIFE?
Really smokin' hot. You seem more excited about this than even me, mystery caller.
Why did you marry your wife, besides her obvious hotness?
Because she TOLD me to.
If you could be any superhero, who would you be?
Any superhero. Wow, that's a wide range. I'd need to make a spreadsheet. I'm guessing that Superman has the most upside. On the other hand, if I had to BE Superman, like his personality, that would be dull.
I'll be Multiple Man. That ought to get the basement cleaned.
Are you a morning person or night person?
I am both.
How is LOST going to end?
Well, that really depends on [insert 500,000 word answer here].
Short answer? Dramatically and ambiguously.
What's the worst movie you've ever seen?
Wow. That's tough. I try not to see bad ones, and I tend not to remember the ones I do see.
What is your wife like? Is she as excited about LOST as you are?
My wife's hotness appears to have already been well-documented in this venue. Everything else is even better. She's very funny, extremely organized (which is good, because I am so not), an amazing and committed and loving mother. She likes good books and movies. I have more fun with her than with anybody.
She also introduced me to LOST. She is a healthy, well-adjusted person, so while she is as excited about LOST as me, she isn't nearly as obsessed.
How cute are your kids?
So cute. Really. It's ridiculous. You have no idea. Unless you do and you're just asking a question you know the answer to. What's wrong with you, anyway?
Why are you such a douchebag?
I am more of a douche nozzle. It's just as douche-y, but far more directed.
How do you think Obama has been doing in his first year as president?
I think he's been doing as well as can be hoped for, considering [insert 17 page rant here.]
Short answer? He's been what I thought he'd been when I voted for him.
Are you Astin?
No. There are differences, if you squint. (1) Astin is Canadian. (2) Astin can cook. (3) Astin doesn't ride public transportation dressed as Superman. That's about it.
It's a romantic interlude with the late Julia Child (she's not dead yet, and still looking fairly hot). She will make you one meal before treating you like a play toy. What do you order?
Julia Child looked hot once? Are you sure you don't mean Julia Stiles? Anyway, I'd ask for a bowl of Grape Nuts.
Do you want to be buried or cremated?
Are you KIDDING??? Neither!