Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Chat Fun 001: The ******ongible

Every so often, I win a hand. Usually this is due to luck of the one-or-two outer variety. When this happens, I will often get told a few things about myself that the victim of my bad play doesn't think I know yet.

Every so often, I decide to play with this person.

This is one of those times.

So this guy was playing every hand and going to the felt with any Ace rag unimproved. Naturally, he had lots of chips. I was playing as many cheap pots as I could with him. I called his 3x button raise from the bb with J8o and got the dream flop JJx. Long story short I milked a big pot out of by letting him fire three bullets with AQ, and it helped that an A hit the river.

The following conversation ensued. Names have not been changed because nobody is innocent.

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "crazy people"

Julius_Goat said, "yeah"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "idiot to"

Julius_Goat said, "probably, yeah" <------ ready to let it go, I've been there before

Julius_Goat said, "nh"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "i dont thing so, J 8 off is a shame" <----------- Julius_Goat decides to have fun

Julius_Goat said, "I hate to break it to you buddy, but you are the mark at this table"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "what marh\k? what it means?\"

Julius_Goat said, "it's kind of like a ******ongle"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "like a what??"

Julius_Goat said, "a ******ongle"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "it dont get it"

Julius_Goat said, "it certainly don't"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "idiot, its not showing"

Julius_Goat said, "what isn't?"

Julius_Goat said, "******ongle?"

Julius_Goat said, "shows for me"

Julius_Goat said, "check your language settings"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "a****ongable"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "i aint no mark,"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "what ever"

Julius_Goat said, "maybe not, but you are for SURE a *******ongle"

Julius_Goat said, "I bet there is video evidence"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "lol, video evidence?"

Julius_Goat said, "5:1 odds there is"

Julius_Goat said, "******ongling is often captured in low quality video"

AlamedaSteve said, "pretty sure I saw it on youtube."

Julius_Goat said, "oh yeah, it was big with the kids back in 2005 and early 2006"

Julius_Goat said, "like mentoes in coke"

*** SHOW DOWN ***
Dr.Fritz4000: shows [7c Tc] (a full house, Tens full of Sevens)
CAPELANEZ $$: shows [2d Th] (three of a kind, Tens)
Dr.Fritz4000 collected 3682 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3682 | Rake 0
Board [4c Td 9c Ts 7s]
Seat 1: Julius_Goat folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: gutterbound folded on the Turn
Seat 3: josrey85 folded on the Flop
Seat 4: malafia folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Dr.Fritz4000 showed [7c Tc] and won (3682) with a full house, Tens full of Sevens
Seat 6: AlamedaSteve folded on the Flop
Seat 7: All Donk (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: latinpo (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 9: CAPELANEZ $$ (big blind) showed [2d Th] and lost with three of a kind, Tens

Julius_Goat said, "look, Fritz, if I'm going to go to all the trouble of getting the guy tilted, you should be a mencsh and let me have his chips"

Julius_Goat said, "fair's fair"

AlamedaSteve said, "and Cape was wearing a mask, but pretty sure it was him."

Dr.Fritz4000 said, "i think he would give them away regardless"

CAPELANEZ $$: bets 353 and is all-in
Julius_Goat: folds
Uncalled bet (353) returned to CAPELANEZ $$

Julius_Goat said, "see I called that raise as a gift, ******ongle"

Dr.Fritz4000 said, "but thanks for the help"

Julius_Goat said, "now T2 is a GREAT hand"

Julius_Goat said, "unlike J8"

Julius_Goat said, "which is shameful"

Julius_Goat said, "mark mark mark mark mark mark"

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "idiot, spell this f****ogable **** , dont know what means, its not showing"

Julius_Goat said, "I'm telling you I AM spelling it"

Julius_Goat said, "I don't see any ***** whatever it is"

Julius_Goat said, "check your language settings man"

AlamedaSteve said, "shows for me too, he must have the pokerstars filter setup."

CAPELANEZ $$ said, "time twice, the letters stupid"

Julius_Goat said, "right, go to your menu and choose "show unfiltered language""

Julius_Goat said, "I'm typing the letters, not typing any ***"

AlamedaSteve said, "uncheck the box."

Julius_Goat said, "right, just uncheck the box"

Julius_Goat said, "forgot they added a box"

AlamedaSteve said, "its just new yesterday i think."

Julius_Goat said, "huh, right, I'd never noticed it before"

AlamedaSteve said, "Cape, contact the Mod for help."

[And now the punchline]

Moderator78 [Moderator]: When contacting a Moderator please express your concerns clearly and in English. This way we can best help you.

Moderator78 [Moderator]: Thank you.

Moderator78 [Moderator]: Hello again. There is no way to reverse the chat filter. If another player's chat is bothering you, you can always right-click on that player's icon and select the "block chat" option.

Moderator78 [Moderator]: Take care and good luck.

Julius_Goat: Cape, I hope you didn't call the Moderator an ******ongle

I would love to see the message he sent to the mod.


Katitude said...


<-- crying!

Mondogarage said...

Alameda Steve needs some special extra props here. OMFG that was high-larious.

BLAARGH! said...

Goat, that is priceless. You're my ****ongle hero.

Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Well played.

DrChako said...

I'm totally stealing this.


BWoP said...

Was Alameda Steve in on it?

If not, extra props for jumping right in there.

Julius_Goat said...

Alameda Steve is clearly the hero here. He was in no way in on it, he just figured it out and joined in.

I should send him $5 Stars for that.

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SubZero said...

Goat, you crack me up and it hardly needs saying that your writing is spot on. If I was half as talented in that department I doubt I'd have to play poker for a living!
Lots of luck for your next encounter with a similar villain....