Monday, January 28, 2008

LOST: A Refresher

With apologies to Billy Joel and anybody who gets "We Didn't Start the Fire" stuck in their heads today, but I thought I'd take a moment to catch up with the action so far . . .


SEASON ONE

Oceanic had a crash,
Boone and Locke found Desmond’s hatch.
There’s a monster, hear it roar.
(We never see it anymore.)

Now let’s all check out Kate’s butt,
Hurley’s rich and fat and nuts.
Jack’s obsessed,
Jin’s a dick,
Charlie is an addict.

A couple Others infiltrated,
Sawyer’s filled with self-hatred.
Sayid
Tortures guys
Rose is old and black and wise.

Sun speaks English secretly,
Charlie gets hung from a tree.
Hey! There’s
A polar bear.
Coming out of nowhere.

Sayid takes a walk
Jin starts to learn to talk
Shannon
Lived in France
Rousseau is crazy-pants.

Locke only wants to stay
Michael wants to get away
Walt has powers
(Don’t ask how)
Boone is a goner now.

The Others also have a boat
Turns out that Michael can float
Walt gets
Pulled aboard
And disappears till Season Four

Now Jin has our sympathy,
Others' smoke makes Losties flee,
Dynamite
Blows the lid
No one cares what Kate did.

Jack makes a stupid plan!
Everyone does what they can!
Shannon tries to get a tan!


[Chorus]
We can’t get off this island,
Even though we’re trying, lots of us are dying.
We can’t get off this island,
Flashbacks keep us busy, Sayid's hair is frizzy.


SEASON TWO

Finally we’re inside the hatch
Button mashing gets old fast.
All the Tailies
Had it hard
They’re all dead now but Bernard.

Man of science, man of faith
Push the numbers just in case.
Shannon
Eats some lead.
Sayid’s pissed that she is dead.

Locke’s teaching Michael guns.
Holy crap, but that was dumb.
Hurley’s numbers
Are confusing
Crap, and Charlie’s back to using.

Rousseau captures Henry Gale
Everything that Jack tries fails.
Build an army?
Never mind.
Let’s just leave that plot behind.

More hatches than I can remember.
Reruns now until November.
Locke faith
Is getting dull.
Eko’s stick will crack his skull.

Hurley’s hording all the snacks
Hey look! Now Michael’s back.
Libby’s getting
Real intriguing.
Too bad that she’s shot and bleeding.

Michael is the Other’s tool
Good thing Sayid isn’t fooled.
Sadly Jack's
Still real ghey.
They get captured anyway.

There’s so much that we don’t know!
Why’d the key make the hatch blow?
Are the Others really foes?
Why’s that statue got four toes?


[Chorus]
We can’t get off this island,
Now the hatch exploded (or was that imploded?)
We can’t get off this island.
Guess we’re all connected, sometimes resurrected.


SEASON THREE

Desmond’s got the future sight
And the Michael who is white
Doesn’t age,
Jack’s enraged
Sawyer’s in the bear cage.

Juliet is so conflicted
Ben’s movement is restricted
By his tumor
There’s a rumor
That Alex is engaged.

Kate and Sayer do the deed
Jack ensures that they are freed
In return,
He stays.
Touch football is what he plays.

Sun is pregnant, but she’s sad
Jin might not be the babydad.
Claire is a
Protective mother.
Jack is still her secret brother.

This chick in a parachute
Brings us some disturbing news
Turns out
They’re all dead.
This is all in Hurley’s head.

Locke blows up the sub real good
And Ben really thinks he should
Off his dad.
He gets mad
When Sawyer does it instead.

Jack picks up some dynamite
Wants to use it in a fight.
The Russian
Can’t be killed.
Paolo’s in a landfill.

Poor Ben has lost all control.
Leaves Locke dying in a hole.
Jacob gives
the island juice.
Now we’re getting real confused.

Jack’s plan actually succeeds!
Kate gets trembly in the knees!
But now!
Future shock!
Jack! Kate! Sawyer! Locke!

Hurley fixes up the van!
Uses it to kill a man!
Claire frowns!
Charlie drowns!
DADDY ISSUES ALL AROUND!
We have got an all out war!
I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE!


[Chorus]
We got off that island,
Who is in the coffin? We’ll be asking often.
We got off that island.
But we just aren’t done now, think we’ve just begun begun begun begun . . .

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Stupid/System 002: Basic Considerations

It is very important to realize the difference between the way an average player sees a hand of poker, and the way top-flight pro sees that same hand. Since you are (let's face it) probably not a top-flight, pro, let's focus on how you should approach a hand as an average player.

The first mistake you must avoid is merely making the hand about your holdings. There are numerous other considerations to take into account as well, each of which holds its own intricacies and variations, and each of which impacts upon every individual hand. It should be stated at the outset that poker is a situational game. Some of these factors will be the most important element of one hand, and inconsequential in another, based on the specific situation you find yourself in.

Whenever you are about to make a decision, you must consider the following factors:

1) What are your cards? This isn't the only consideration you must make, but it is a crucially important one. Your cards are after all what will have to win the hand for you if you can't make anybody fold. So ask yourself? Is this a good hand? Is it a pair? Is it your lucky hand? Do you really like it (like for example, Ten Seven I just love)? Did your cards just won a monster pot the last hand? Are they really connecting hard with the flop on another table you have open? These are all strong indications that you should go forward with your hand.

2) Did you REALLY want to play your cards? Nothing sucks more than getting a juicy hand like JT suited and then there's an all in or something.

3) What is the action to you? Does it matter? How? If you find out, please tell me.

4) Do you have any reads on the players already in the pot? They're bluffing, aren't they. Yeah, they're totally bluffing. Donks.

5) Are you due? This is extremely important. If you haven't hit the flop in like seventeen hands, you must play this one aggressively. It's your moment. I once folded 57 to a big raise and it came 757. Don't let that be you, bro. For reals.

6) What do you hope the other player has? This is an extremely important question to ask yourself when you are trying to make sure that you are ahead. Did you know that deuces are ahead of AK? You should usually hope that your opponant has AK.

7) Are you priced in? Yes.

8) Are you drunk? This question is rhetorical.

All these factors must be considered together before you make your decision. Failure to do so could result in your folding the best hand.


SAMPLE HAND
























Situation: First hand of a large-field multiple-table tournament. Your opponents are all clearly total donkeys.

Your hand: [Ad Tc]

Action to you: Player A calls for 30. Player B calls. Player C calls. Player D calls. Player E calls. The pot is now 195.

Question: Do you go all-in?

Answer: OK, settle down. You have a monster and are already getting a lot of action. Your goal now should be to raise enough to keep one or two people in the pot, but not so much that you're up against the whole table (though with two face cards including big A, that would be OK too). I'd recommend a good-sized bet of around 65.

Action: You actually raise to 35, and the software informs you that 60 is the minimum bet. You raise to 60. Player G calls. The small blind calls. The button calls. Player A calls. Player B calls. Player C calls. Player D calls. Player E calls. Idiots. The pot is now 540.

Flop: KcJd8c

Action: Players A and B check. Player C bets 400. Players D and E fold. What do you do?

Answer: There's no question you are going to play this hand. The only question is if you are going to call or go all-in. The flop missed you, but here's a little stat for you: Only one in seven flops hits any hand. The fact that there is a King and a Jack in the flop means there are only three of each to still be in your hand. Your opponent is obviously scared with this 400 bet and hoping like crazy to just take it down here. I think the call is the optimal play here, for a few reasons. First, we've already determined that you're ahead, so you can afford to give a free card with your lead. But on top of that, did you know that a Queen (of which there are still FOUR) would make you a straight?? It's true. You may have missed it, but go back and check. I find it's always helpful to use your fingers to count to five. Also, two clubs in a row make you a straight, and the Queen of clubs with the nine of clubs would make you a straight flush. You don't have the nuts, but it's close. Just call.

Action: In fact you go all in. Your opponent calls with a pair of eights for bottom set, which unbelievably hold up. What a crock.

Note that you were destined to lose a lot of chips in that pot. This site is frickin' rigged anyway.

[Excerpted from Stupid/System: Poker Strategy For Huge Donkeys, (c) Julius_Goat 2008, All Rights Reserved]

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Saturday Matinee 004

I am big. It's the pictures that got small.
-Norma Desmond.

You guys guessed it. Last week's shot came from all-time classic Sunset Boulevard, the seedy tale of old Hollywood and the people that the film industry chews up and spits out. The fellow floating in the pool is William Holden (no real spoiler there; that shot is from the first minute of the movie), and he's already discovering, even back in the 1950s, that the writer is about as cherished as old silent-era stars. I bet this one is beloved of striking writers right about now, in a sort of bitter way.

Lucky for me, the guy who guessed the shot first doesn't play online. A buy-in to the Dookie is yours should you ever want to claim it, Joel.

OK, this one is a wonderful, excellent, great movie, like most of these, in the pantheon of my favorites. Fantastic film right here. I'm betting I've stumped you, though. Mookie buyin for whoever guesses it first. Click the image to make it get all big, like.

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Odds

Joey Pringle had a plan, and the plan was valid. The conditions were all correct. He could drive all night, he had his yellowjackets. He had his trucker hat, no logo, on tight over short hair. He had the heat on and the heat was on full. No music. It was warm and cozy and Saint Christopher on the dash. This was something that people liked. There was a hollow place in the driver side door. There was a starfield of snow flying through the air and around his truck, enough for visibility to be low, but not enough to make the driving dicey. The plan was valid and Joey Pringle knew it, because the plan had been tested before.

Joey Pringle had a wide clear face with a small nose and he found it easy to smile. He’d learned to make his eyes move when he smiled, which is what people liked. He wasn’t large or small, but he was fast. He had a gun that he had never needed to discharge, and a knife, and the knife was valid, too. The knife was very valid.

He didn’t listen to the radio; he whistled and drove into the starfield, and watched.

As he drove, he passed the time by thinking of the other ones. Sometimes he knew their names, sometimes not. He gave them his own names in that case, and in a way, those were his favorite. There were twenty-nine of them now, and sometimes if he missed one it would only come out to twenty-eight, and then he’d have to start over. He didn’t know if any of them had ever been found. He didn’t check the newspapers.

First the car in the ditch, then two minutes later the hitcher himself materialized out of the snow. There’d been another one right at the beginning, nearly 3 hours ago, but then there had been headlights in his rearview mirror, so he’d kept driving. He’d known there would be another in a snowstorm. It was just playing the odds. Everybody these days warned against hitch-hiking, because of the danger, but when it’s cold and dark and you’re broken down or spun out, you realize that almost anybody who will pick you up is just being helpful. Joey Pringle knew that the hitcher was also playing the odds.

He slowed and pulled to a stop and waited for the hitcher to run up beside him. He was wearing a heavy blue parka and a knit cap pulled over the forehead and nearly down to the eyes. His hair was completely obscured, color impossible to guess. Features rather close together, twinkling black eyes behind little glasses with golden frames. An 18th century shopkeeper’s glasses. Heavyset, but not overly so. He was bigger than Joey Pringle, but the disparity would make no difference in the end.

If I don’t discover his name, Joey Pringle thought, I’ll call him Pinch.

The man got in and buckled his seat belt. “Thanks, bud. How far you headed?” Pinch had a higher voice than usual for a larger man. The door closed and Joey started driving immediately. It was done, now.

Joey smiled, remembering to make his eyes smile too. “A ways. I can take you as far as you need. You wrecked?” He took the truck up to just under the speed limit. Too fast to jump. Not fast enough to draw police.

Pinch nodded. “Not wrecked, but I’m going nowhere until I get a truck. You have a phone on you?”

Joey shook his head, and Pinch laughed. “We must be the last two people on earth without one, then. Just the nearest gas station ought to do it and I’ll be OK. About ten miles down.”

“You’re from around here.”

“Yep, all my life.”

“I’m just passing through.” Joey stuck out his gloved hand, and Pinch shook it. “Mike,” Joey said. The plan always included a false name. It never mattered, but better to be sure. Better to be safe.

Pinch laughed again. “Nice name, Mike. I’m Mike, too.”

“Odds are good,” Joey said, but he was disappointed. He decided that when he remembered him, number thirty, he would remember him as Pinch. The gun would be out soon. Later, the knife.

“This is a nice truck, Mike,” Pinch said. “Ninety-seven?”

“Ninety-nine.”

“Gotcha, gotcha. Ninety seven was the first year this model had passenger-side airbags installed. I noticed you had those.”

“You’re quite safety conscious.”

“I am at that,” Pinch said, and then there was a sharp pain in Joey’s leg. He looked down and Pinch was pushing the dregs of the syringe’s contents in. Joey kept looking at the syringe and wondering why he wasn’t looking back up and why he couldn’t move his arms or even blink, and from a very high place he could hear Pinch’s friendly voice saying:

“Good alignment on this make, too. You’re still bearing very straight, but there’s a curve right up ahead, buddy. About a thousand yards to go and then we’ll be into the trees. I have a place back there. And then we’ll see.”

They always warn you about picking up hitchers, too, Joey Pringle thought. What are the odds?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Saturday Matinee 003

OK, real quick this time as I've got to run.


Last week was Bad Santa. You knew that.


This week, a classic but an oldie. See if you recognize. This is a very well known movie, so I'm only offering a buy-in to the Dookie on this one.


Friday, January 18, 2008

Stupid/System 001: Key Terms

JJOK just jumped back into the SNG pool. So far (not very far), his stats are the opposite of me. That is, no wins, but a great (50%) cash percentage. My win rate over 50 games is cool (25%), my cash percentage is kind of embarrassing (36%). I probably need to tighten that junk up.

But this isn't about me, it's about a question jjok asked. Which was (and I'm paraphrasing here):

Sweet buttered toast! Is it normal for people to play with both frontal lobes tied behind their back?

I started to answer, but it was getting long, so I cut it off. Go read his post, then come back here if you want enlightenment. I've been sitting, Jane Goodall, like, hidden in the ferns of the wild internet, and I've observed the majesty and behavior patterns of this strange but oddly beautiful creature, hugedonkus fulltiltus.

Not only that, I've written a book, Poker Strategy For Huge Donkeys, by Julius_Goat. It's not in bookstores yet, due to a little misunderstanding with the publisher. To be specific, the problem isn't so much the publisher as the lack of a publisher. My understanding was that the publisher would print a run of 100,000 and a major media blitz. My publisher's understanding was that I was a panhandler with a half-piece of Velveeta cheese stuck in my matted beard. We're working it out. But, in the interest of PoBlo education (PoBloEd), I'm including a free advance excerpt for you! The following is a poker glossary I have placed near the beginning of my tome, translated from thousands of pages of notebook scribblings, made as I've observed a congregated herd of over 3,000 hugedonkus, or 'honkeys' in the vernacular. My only hope is that this may help you as you encounter this species.

[Excerpted from Poker Strategy For Huge Donkeys, (c) Julius_Goat 2008, All Rights Reserved]

ALPHABETIZED GLOSSARY

Pot Odds. One of the most important aspects of poker. The Pot odds are a thing that made Jamie Gold call Allan Cunningham on TV, and Jamie won. Therefore it is important to always have pot odds. You get pot odds by calling more than other players.

Statistics. Statistics should always favor your decisions, which is why it's best to always only use statistics which do. As a side note, 89% of people realize that over 50% of statistics are totally made up, so you're doing yourself a disservice if you don't make some up yourself.

Coin Flip. If you might win the hand, it's a coin flip. For example, 33 is a coin flip against anything but a higher pair, which occurs only 4% of the time (see Statistics). A coin flip is also known as "getting in with the best of it" among the segment of more developed honkeys that have developed rudimentary speech.

Face Card. The Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Ten, Nine, Monopoly Community Chest cards, and the "Old Maid" are all considered 'face' cards. This is often considered a inaccurate list outside the honkey herd, because the Ace clearly has no face. But an Ace can be used in a high hand, too! Any two face cards, when placed together, make a powerful trapping hand. Only call preflop with two face cards, even if the call is for more than half of your stack, as you'll have pot odds for the rest of the hand, making you a mighty favorite.


ATC. Acronym for "Aggression Through Calling." A player has to have a better hand to call a raise than to open with a raise. So if you call somebody's raise, you have a better hand! This is known as the "Gap Principle", and it was invented by David Skanky back in the sixties or something. Are you an ATC player? You should be!

Unsuited. Unsuited cards are preferable, because preflop you now have TWO flush draws.


Gappers. The wider the gap, the better. A4 is awesome because now you have TWO straight draws. Study my "Unsuited Gapper" chapter on page 875 to understand more.

Draws. Any draw is worth any call. Remember, you want to get a lot of chips in there to create favorable pot odds situations.

Raising. Poker favors aggression, and so you must raise with any reasonable hand. There is debate over the best amount, but usually 2x the big blind is best, unless you are opening from early position on the first hand of a tournament, in which case an all-in is best.

Calling. The key arrow in any poker player's quiver. This is how you generate those favorable pot odds for yourself. (See Pot Odds).

Folding. Ridiculous. THIS IS A GAME OF AGGRESSION, PEOPLE. What is less aggressive than folding??? Did Napoleon fold at Waterloo? No! History, people. History. Don't burn your fiddle in Rome like Nero.

All-In. This is a fine move early in the tournament, as it establishes you as the aggressor. Later in the tournament, everybody is doing it. Shift gears and start calling.

OK, that's the first excerpt from my book. I'll be back next week with some sample hands.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Goatlinks 003: Just A Little Speech Impediment

What's worth a look out on the web? Perhaps this is.

You all know this already, but Miami Don is bringing the high heater in 2008. One of the best PoBlo posts of the young year. Check it out.

Finally a game for people with severe ADHD.

Yep, this is a real movie that is really coming out. Imagine the pitch meeting for this one.

Ricky Gervais destroys.

Kids In the Hall sketch of the week.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Saturday Matinee 002

I'm going to roll it out like this. First, a new shot, then the answers from last week, and finally a review tagged at the end so you don't have to scroll through to get to the shots.

Today's shot is a few weeks late for Christmas, but I think somebody's going to get it fairly quickly. The bounty for a correct guess this week is pride.

Here's a picture of what I feel like after playing the Full Tilt 28K:
















That's right, Full Tilt makes me feel like a fat kid with a Hanes-deviated rectum.

And now, the answers:















Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978). That's Robert Duval in a cameo as a priest who likes to, um, swing.











Body Snatchers (1993). That's Forest Whitaker with the gun. Poor dude turns it on himself in about five seconds here.













Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956). That's actually Astin in the foreground there.














Aaaaaand Snatch (2000). That's Brad Pitt the pikey taking a dive.

Obviously, the common theme linking three of them is that they are all versions of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Furthermore, all four of them have "Snatch" in their title.

First of all, kudos to Carson for nearly nailing it. He knows his Snatchers, but not his Snatch. So sorry, no Mookie for you.

All four of these movies are good (Body Snatchers is only 'good-ish'), but there's one that stands out for me. The Phillip Kauffman 1978 version is the gold standard as far as I'm concerned. This is one creepy mama-jamma of a movie, and not just because Leonard Nimoy shows up wearing a turtleneck with a corduroy blazer. I won't front though - that is part of it.

This 70-era remake eschews the Red Scare allegory of the 1956 Don Siegel original, but the subtext is still plenty thick: the conspiracy is real, and the authorities will be of no help - they're in on the trick. Those square emotionless alien pods are coming on strong. By the time you notice the warning signs - strange flowers growing on the wrong plants, garbage trucks off their normal route, your husband's brand-new thousand-yard stare - it will be too late; they'll already be here. (It played well, I'm sure, in the era of Watergate, and it is not without resonance in these 'Patriot Act' days. I don't know if Dick Cheney watches these or any other films, but if he does, you can be sure he does it in secret.)

For this cautionary fable against conformity, Phillip Kaufman enlists a couple screen iconoclasts. Donald Sutherland is Matthew Bennell, a San Fran inspector for the Department of Health and Safety. He knows the system and trusts its integrity. This is a guy who can look at the soup of life and sort the capons from the rat turds, brother, and he doesn't mind calling a turd a turd. He'll even put it in a baggie and take it to the lab. Jeff Goldblum plays Jack, who is a writer friend of Matthew's, I suppose. Really, he's doing the quirky Jeff Goldblum thing, except here he's about fifteen years younger and twice as adenoidal. Honest, I think his eyes are the size of tennis balls in this picture. The surprise is that he isn't the alien. Or isn't he?

Matthew works with Elizabeth (Brooke Adams), who is beginning to be worried about her boyfriend, who just doesn't seem right, exactly. He still looks the same, but . . . it's crazy, but she's becoming convinced that Ted isn't Ted. Ted's changed. He's something else. No, scratch that. He's some thing else.

Matthew first sees this as his chance to flirt - he is clearly attracted to her - but soon becomes concerned as her nervousness starts to taste like psychosis. He introduces her to David (Nimoy), a psychiatrist friend of his who is also a celebrity writer of psychobabble. Nimoy is admirably understated in the role, but he is unfortunately upstaged by his own wardrobe. David, over-rational and not a little condescending, tells them that he's seen all this before; Elizabeth's fear is indicative of a chronic hysteria that seems to be sweeping the city, a hysteria that seems brief, and which David chalks up to the chronic fear of close relationship endemic to modern urbanites. Clearly, David has gotten hold of early script treatments for Seinfeld.
No fair telling what comes next - information would only kill the suspense. I suppose though, that given that the name of the film is Invasion of the Body Snatchers, it won't be too much of a mind-blower to disclose that David's soothing theories are somewhat off-base. Yes, some bodies get snatched, and there is an invasion.

The true fright of the film is watching Matthew's trust in the network of authority die an all-too slow death. "Hang up the phone," Jack shouts, but Matthew dials again. The operator knows his name before he tells it, and, even as the sirens drawn closer, Matthew dials once more. It would be close to futile to over-politicize what is essentially a sci-fi thriller, but Matthew is a cogent warning to anyone who thinks the evil can't possibly happen here. Matthew may not be a pod, but he's still programmed to sit tight as the water warms and starts to boil . . .

By the way, what ever happened to Donald Sutherland? Check him out in this, or in Kelly's Heroes. Remember Klute? What about M*A*S*H? Jimminy-whilickers, remember Animal House? Is it just me, or was he great? No, don't answer that; it's not just me. He was our prime offbeat leading man. We're still scrambling to come to terms with what he did for the white guy afro. What has he played in the last decade that couldn't be described by two words, and one of those either 'seedy' or 'psycho'? Let's get this guy a lead role in something, pronto. Howsabout the brothers Coen or maybe Spike Jonze casts him as Rabo Karebekian in an adaptation of Vonnegut's Bluebeard? He even looks like Vonnegut a little. Let's make this happen.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

GoatLinks 002: Zebra Don't Care

OK, another hopefully repeating event. Let's shoot for later Wednesday for this one. All the best in webby goodness.


The Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians. Yeah . . . 'look like.'

Boxhead. Zombie killing wonderfulness.

Where's That From? If you just can't get enough of my screenshots, here you go.

Creased Comics. Craziest web comic there is. From the guy who brought us that cartoon about George Washington.

Brush With Inebriated Greatness. Hellmuthian wonderfulness back in 2005.


Enjoy!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Quarter 1: The Mission

One of my 2008 missions was to play more deliberately, in an attempt to both shore up holes in the bankroll and to focus on my game. I've decided to break this down by quarter, creating a game plan that takes into account SNG, MTT, Cash, and Blogger Tournaments. The focus will be on playing a tight, methodical, tilt free game, and keeping tabs on my progress.

I also know myself. I like to take shots. Rather than fight that urge, I'm going to perform a little judo. Once a quarter, I'm going to give myself a present like my name was Special Agent Dale Cooper. The idea is that I'll be less likely to take spur-of-the-moment bankroll killers if I already have one planned. This will be budgeted, rather than a part of the existing roll. This will be an FTOPS event, or a Sunday Millions, or maybe a WSOP satillite. One shot a quarter. One third of a shot per month.

So, here are the ways that I am going to hone myself into a poker missile in the first quarter of 2008.


SNG Plan: One table at a time. I'm playing $5 +$0.50 nine-seaters exclusively. When/if I reach 100 of them I will review my stats and my roll and decide whether or not to move up. I may ask for advice.

Goal: 25 wins out of 100.

Stats So Far:
SNG Played: 39
ROI: 19%
Wins: 9
ITM 14
Win %: 23%
ITM %: 36%
Win% When ITM: 64%


Talk Amongst Yourselves: What's a respectable ITM% for these things? KOD, I'm looking at you.


MTT Plan: I have a little bit on Stars, so I will play the 9:30 PM $5 + $0.50, which usually gets around 2,200 runners. I've final tabled it before and went out 16th two weeks ago. I can beat it. I will also be playing the HU $6.50 Double shootouts to win Level 1 tokens on Tilt, which I will be using to parlay into the $28K and the MATH.

Goal: One win.

Stats So Far:
Token Sats Played: 4
Tokens Won: 2
Tokens Used: 1
Cashes: 0
Spent: $13.00
Profit: $0.00
ROI: Negative Infinity

Talk Amongst Yourselves: Do you see a more bankroll-friendly method to play the large field MMT?


Blonkament Plan*
1-2 MATH per month. Tokened in.
1-2 Mookie per month.*
No Big Game until I'm richer (sniff).
SKILL Game whenever I have a free Tuesday (seldom).

I won't stop playing these things, even though they are horribly, horribly - EV. I just won't.

Goal: Pain.

Talk Amongst Yourself: What do you think my UTG range is for 5x bb with a Superstack and an M of 500?


One Shot: I plan to play Event #1 of the FTOPS. Wish me luck.

Talk Amongst Yourselves: If my internet connection goes out right before the bubble of this event, how should I take my revenge?

Goal: Mortage? What mortgage?


Cash Plan: Absolutely no cash under any circumstances. I am an enormous cash donk. Never let anybody tell you otherwise. Easily, easily the worst hole in my game. I'll work on patching it later.

Goal: The first goal of No Cash Game Club is you do not play cash games. The second goal of No Cash Game Club is you do NOT play CASH games.

Talk Amongst Yourselves: (1) Are you a cash donk, too? (2) Are you a winning or at least break-even cash player? (3) Are you lying? (4) No, seriously.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Saturday Matinee 001

Time for a little regular feature here at Casa T_G_S. I'll try to keep this one going every Saturday. For the most part, I'm going to do this in the form of a 'guess the screenshot' prize with answers the following Saturday. I may even write a review or two.

If I am feeling expansive, there may be a prize. A small prize. And only if I think the quiz is unsolvable. Look, I'm not a high roller.

The idea here is to expand the Netflix queues of the PoBloSphere. There's nearly 100 years of film history to draw upon, and literally thousands of excellent films that nobody ever considers seeing because, well, nobody's heard of them, or they've heard of them but never thought of them, or they think they've heard of them, thought of them once, stopped thinking of them, and now would be willing to meet for coffee but only in mixed company, and that's it.

The point is, studios pour hundreds of millions of marketing bucks into marketing the NEW! films that are coming out. Some of these are great, most are mediocre, and many are just filthy piles of wretched puking failure. A sliver of the NEW! films get most of the marketing. There is a simple reason for this. It's what makes money. Why would any studio spend a dime to remind you about (say) McCabe and Mrs. Miller, to name a recent screen shot classic? They have to pimp the new ride. But it isn't what makes for the wisest movie choices for you, the consumer. Goat to the rescue! Or, you know, if you don't share my taste, Goat to the long-winded diversion!

So here we go. I'll kick it off with four whole shots. The first one is on my all-time favorites list, the others are all OK to pretty good. Hint: These all have something very specifically the same about them. Three of the four are further tied together in yet another way.

First person who can guess the films and the connections between them, and post their answer in the comments, will get funded to play the Mookie next week. This is my way of saying I think this one is ridiculously hard. Cheating with Google is, as always, totally encouraged.

If you haven't got a clue, send me funny captions!

P.S. These shots don't get bigger if you click on them. I'll be fixing that for most future endeavors.