Thursday, December 18, 2008

Rail Chat: One Word

One of the more interesting (that is to say useless) tools in any poker player's aresenal is the chatbox. Many successful players avoid it entirely as a useless distraction or a pointless leak in the information pipeline; however, it cannot be underestimated as a conduit for that most efficacious lubricant of profitability: tilt. Get the villain sputtering mad and he'll break his neck to get his chips in bad.

I hope to unpack some secrets that I've picked up along the way that I think will help you become effective, or at least I would assume so if I were a skillful player. Anyway, they are fun.

One fine chatbox tilt technique, deployed whenever you have somebody who is spouting off at you for calling his preflop min-raise from the button with JT and cracking his Aces, is the use of a single word. Not just any word, but a particular one. This is the magic word. It's the auto-tilter.


Whatever they say, just answer with "nonsense."

Just try it (and for crying out loud, have the discipline to use just this word) for a while. I promise good results or you can write me for a full refund.

* * * * *

Julius_Goat shows a straight, 7 to J and wins 7,855

Malarkybuns23: donk
Malarkybuns23: u call and win??
Malarkybuns23: donk
Julius_Goat: nonsense
Malarkybuns23: I had you cruhsed
Julius_Goat: nonsense
Malarkybuns23: lol whatever man, most hands ahead of JT
Julius_Goat: nonsense
Malarkybuns23: u just keep calling skill beats luck
Julius_Goat: nonsense
Malarkybuns23: idiot
Julius_Goat: nonsense
Malarkybuns23: I had AA u had JT
Julius_Goat: nonsense, nonsense
Malarkybuns23: Check hand history
Julius_Goat: nonsense
Malarkybuns23: your an idiot!!!!!!!!!

* * * * *


Little. Infuriating. Different.


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Champ said...

To the comment above: Nonsense.

To the post itself: Brilliant.

lj said...


1Queens Up1 said...

How does he not know the correct form of yur?

I always tend to just agree with whatever they say, that infuriates them pretty good too.

Joenoob: Yur nan idiat!
1Queens Up1: Yes I am.
Joenoob: LOLOLOL u cald yersefl an idiat! LOLOLOLOL