Saturday, November 8, 2008

The November 9: Regurgitated Corporate Fever-Dreams

I have to say, I am disappointed in the media bias.

No, not politics. I'm talking about the November Nine. In case you've forgotten (and let's face it, you totally have), I was amazed this summer to discover I knew each of the men who made the final table personally. I went through hell and back to secure the right to post what I knew.

It was a hair-raising experience, and not one I entered into lightly. Could America take the truth? But no, I finally decided, it didn't matter if we were ready as a culture, the truth must come out. I pulled the pin on the grenade and chucked it out into the Internet, then hunkered in my bunker, waiting for the cleansing cultural fires of tactical response.

The response? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Instead, my RSS reader is clogged with this bunko corporate nonsense passing as "biography" of the November Nine. Even Pauly has drunk the kool-aide of mendacity, posting a well-written breakdown of each of these individuals that is, for all its clarity of prose, nothing but the regurgitated corporate fever-dreams of Howard Lederer, Chris Moneymaker, and Norman Chad. Lies, lies, and damned lies. Shame on you, Pauly. I expect this crap from CardPlayer, but not from you.

Fine. Here we go again. Before the cards hit the air, I present you with the REAL November Nine.

Dennis Phillips
Craig Marquis
Ylon Schwartz
Scott Montgomery
Darus Suharto
"David" Chino "Rheem"
Ivan Demidov
Kelly Kim
Peter Eastgate

Again, and please believe me as if the future of civilization hung in the balance (for all we know, it does): All of this is completely true.*

*Not completely.


$mokkee said...

obv the truth is highly overrated. it's what you can get them to believe that counts.

KenP said...

Don't worry about it Goat. Even though he slipping to mediocrity, you can rest assured he'll never get to your level.

The 9 though has been a bigger farce. This was supposed to turn the 9 into media gods. Instead, they can't get 5-stars with their ebay selling of body and soul.