L O S T
Sorry for the delay. I think I'll make this post similar to this episode. Lots of build-up and supsense, not much content, with the promise of an absolutely HUGE post next time.
This was a solid episode that mainly accomplished the task of moving the pieces into place for the pulse-pounding, bone-chilling, hair-raising, heart-racing, liver-enhancing, kidney-malfunctioning, ankle-twisting, soup-slurping, check-raising, cow-tipping finale.
It also introduced us to the Oceanic Six origin story, sort of. More on that in a second. Let's just move the pieces.
Michael. Getting ready for his heroic death.
Jin. Getting ready for his heroic death. Now with kung-fu grip and English-speaking action!
Desmond. Hope the island won't let you blow up, brotah.
Sun. Wondering how she is going to get to the same spot as the rest of the O6. Also wondering why she has to be the one who carries the largest five month old baby in the world. In the future, Sun is wondering with the rest of us how Oceanic Airlines could pay out a six way settlement that allows one of the recipients to just BUY a major automobile manufacturer. What was the settlement? 21 billion dollars each? Hurley would need about 80 double ups to afford a company like Paik, and he was already a huge millionaire, by which I mean that he is a millionaire who is huge.
Sun, COME ON DOWN!!! You're the first contestant in Ludicrous Plot Hole That I Hope They At Least Try To Address Someday! It's the game show where we ALL lose!
Aaron: Waaaaaaaah! Waaaaaah! I have giantism! I'm clearly the size of an 18 month old! It's almost comical!
The Beach Of Total Irrelevance.
Charlotte. Hasn't spoken since March. Let's move on.
Rose. Actually died back in April. Hmm, how about . . .
Bernard. Really? That's the last of the Tailies? You wouldn't have guessed it, would you?
Juliet. Guesses she'll be left behind by the A-team. Is secretly starting to hope Jack bleeds out.
Miles. Yeah, he was interesting at one point. I hope that happens again.
Riding His Dinghy
Daniel. Heh, heh, heh. Dinghy. By the way, you notice they made a point of saying that the dinghy only holds . . . six?
Gotta Run Through the Jungle
Kate. Nobody was more of a ping pong ball than Kate. She's going with Jack to find the helicop-- oh, wait. She's going back to the beach with Miles, carrying Aaron, because she's a lady -- oh wait, she's going with Sayid to find Jack and Sawyer. Oh wait. Captured.
Future Kate is trying to pass off Aaron as her baby. To their credit, the LOST writers addressed how this would be a hard pill to swallow. To their detriment, they didn't really resolve it, at all.
Kate: Yes, when the marshall captured me I was six months pregnant and nobody noticed. Also, this is my 90-lb. five-month-old.
Reporter: But . . . that's ludicrous to anybody who can do basic math . . .
The Rest Of The World: Luckily, we all play at Full Tilt! It's her baby! She's holding it! She was priced in! Next question! Next question!
Anyway, Kate . . . COME ON DOWN! You're our next contestant on Plot Development of . . . oh, never mind.
Sayid. "Every time I follow this woman into the jungle, I am captured by the Others. This makes the resigned look on my face as I hand over my gun to Richard hilarious and awesome. Seriously, I'm going solo from now on."
Jack. How messed up did Future Jack look after getting the news that he's left his sister behind? Whether his intentions in organizing this cover up were less-than-noble (which is hinted by the tone of this episode) or an agonizing-yet-necessary move to protect everybody left on the island (which is hinted at by the fact that everybody else agrees to it), I think we saw the true origins of his descent into pill-popping island obsession.
Loved his "son of a BITCH!" Stole Sawyer's line.
Sawyer. Loved his "you don't get to die alone." Stole Jack's line.
Frank. I doubt that he flies anybody back on that chopper. He may fly Sun and Aaron and Desomond off the boat, though.
Keamy. Can kill you with his gun.
Ben. Can kill you with his mind. So, how long before Keamy is doing exactly what Ben wants? Is it five minutes or six? Seriously, how awesome is Ben? Do you realize that when his back is to the wall, his STRATEGY is to get captured? This is now the third time in three seasons of Ben that he's pulled exactly this move to get exactly what he wants. Keamy is doomed, I tells you. Did you notice that he handed over his little port-a-cudgel to Locke? What exactly does that portend, other than the fact that Ben will have to get it back eventually before he winds up in 2005?
Locke. Has to move the island. By the way, I suspect that when Desmond turned the key and the sky went purple, that was the last time the island 'moved'. By the way, whatever the Orchid does and whatever Locke is intending to do there, it it dire enough to make Daniel look like he wanted to soil himself. Since Daniel's the time-travel expert, I'd guess that moving the island is definitely a time/space continuum deal.
Random Thoughts and Theories
I'm guessing that Ben gets off the island through Orchid-related time travel, and the Oceanic Six get off via the dinghy.
I'm guessing that Jin and Michael buy the farm.
I'm guessing we won't get an answer to the ghosts until next season.
I'm guessing that Sawyer's request to Kate is that she look after Clementine and his daughter with her, who I'm guessing is named Mandarin, or perhaps Tangelo.
I really liked the details of the cold open, from the almost fearful superstition that our heroes engender in the co-pilot (why so scared just for some survivors?) to the thousand-yard stares of the whole Oceanic Six, to Jack's conspiratorial coaching of the rest of them, to the emotional wallop of the family reunions. Hurley sharing his family with Sayid was . . . um . . . the room just got dusty, that's all. Leave me alone.
Join me next time when we hear Ben say:
"I'm awesome, and I'm the first awesome reason you watch this awesome show. Now bask in my total awesomeness."
L O S T