General Profile: Typically well meaning, usually bright and introspective . . . but put Skepty at a poker table and he turns into Walter Winchell, oy so many questions he has! Did you hit the flop? Did you hit it hard? Why did you bet so much? Why did you bet so little? Why did you take so long to bet? Why did you insta-shove there? How many fibers are intertwined on a shredded wheat biscuit? Who killed Laura Palmer? What is the difference between a grape and a hammer? Basically the story with Skepti_Cal is this: He doesn't believe you, pilgrim, and he's about to play sheriff. You're getting called down.
The thing about Cal is the curiosity. He just has to know. It's not his fault, it's just his nature.
Natural Habitat: Anywhere poker is played.
Strengths: Very difficult to bluff.
Weaknesses: Very easy to value bet. Also, athelete's foot. That's hard to exploit at the poker table though.
Motto: "Only trust thyself, and another shall not betray thee."
Favorite Hand: AK unimproved.
In the iPod: It Ain't Necessarily So, by Gershwin
Hobbies: Collecting rare postage stamps, beat boxing, investigative journalism.
Care & Feeding: Do NOT bluff Skepty_Cal. Ever. Not never. Here are a few examples of when not to bluff him:
*Do not bluff him in a car.
*Do not bluff him near or far.
*Do not bluff him in a house.
*Do not bluff him with a mouse.
*DO NOT bluff this Skepty_Cal.
*Do not do it! You will fail!
However, DO be sure whenever you play a pot while he's at the table to make it SEEM like you're bluffing. And for reals, bluff other players and then show the bluff. This will be to Skepty like chumming the water is to a shark. He will be all in a froth to play a hand with you, and you to him will seem like Bluff B. "Bluffy" McBlufferson. It'll be like that moment in the Looney Tunes when suddenly Elmer looks at Bugs and he morphs from a rabbit to a turkey leg.
This is the sort of thing that can then happen for you:
Example:
Hero posts the small blind of $0.25
Skepty_Cal posts the big blind of $0.50
Hero: Man, everybody is so timid at this table
Skepty_Cal: You're running over us!
Hero raises to $4.00.
Skepty_Cal has 15 seconds to act.
Skepty_Cal: Why so much, Hero?
Hero: That's classified.
Skepty_Cal calls $3.50.
Flop: AdKsTs
Hero bets $48.00 and is all-in.
Hero: Yeah, call THAT
Skepty_Cal has requested TIME.
Skepty_Cal: what do you have?
Hero: Can't talk. Too nervous.
Skepty_Cal: hmmmm
Skepty_Cal: hmmmm hmmmm hmmmm
Skepty Cal calls $48.00
Hero shows KdKc
Skepty_Cal shows Td9c
Turn Th
River Tc
Skepty_Cal has four of a kind, tens.
Hero has a full house, Kings over tens.
Skepti_Cal wins pot [$104.00]
Skepty_Cal: Ow.
Skepty_Cal: Sorry, man.
Hero is dousing himself with gasoline.
Hero has 15 seconds to light himself on fire.
Oh yeah. Skepty_Cal catches up from behind like his name is Don Beebe. I probably should have mentioned that ahead of time.
4 comments:
Woohoo! I'm famous! Well, except that only a handful of people will know this is me....
I can't believe you didn't say:
"You can't bluff him on a boat, you can't bluff him with a GOAT!"
Awesome job Goat.
But did you just sneak "beat boxing" right in there just like that?
So what do we do for the next 4 weeks with no Lost to keep us entertained?
Thanks Goat - you have quickly become one of the reads I anticipate the most on a daily basis and double after an episode of LOST.
I like your style...
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