Friday, March 7, 2008

LOST 013: Juliet's Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

This didn't have a number on it, did it?
-Ben


L O S T

OK, let's get this out of the way first. Locke? If you killed all the chickens, that's probably why you're out of eggs. Just saying, buddy.

Oh, one other thing . . . YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT! YOU LET BEN OUT!

Bad Locke! [Hits with rolled-up newspaper.] No! No treat! Bad! Bad!

Sigh. So it turns out Jack might be the smart one, after all.

OK, so the main course last night was a big hearty helping of Juliet, served Goodwin style on a bed of Oh My God The Chemicals They Burn, but the main event as usual was happening in the B story. Ben just schooled Locke once more like Obi Wan vs. the stormtroopers. Curse those Jedi mind tricks.

What did we see? Widmore, baby. Yeah, it's his boat, or so Ben claims, and this time I think he isn't lying. On tapoe, we see him personally administering an Al Capone level whomping on some guy or other and then looking up and seeing the guy who is taping him, who must have gotten away, because, videotape! We also know that Locke knows who Ben's man on the boat is. Or at least Ben told him somebody that would make him want to sit down. Or maybe he asked Locke to sit down so he could sneak up behind him, shove a 14 inch blade into his ear, flay his body and eat him with fava beans. We don't know, we haven't seen Locke since then. I guess he's busy reading the Widmore file, and for my part I'd rather have spent the episode perusing that than learning that Juliet was getting all "If He Was Your Boyfriend, He Wasn't Last Night" on Shrewy MacMuppetbrows.

But the Man On Boat? It's become fairly clear, right? We have now been promised that next week, we'll see a face "We NEVER expected to see again," which I guess would be true if they hadn't been putting the actor's name in the credits all season. Michael, anybody?

Also in the "stupid as always" category. I nominate . . . Kate. "Hmmm, these untrustworthy boat people are strangely off by themselves and acting untrustworthy. I guess I had better demonstrably show I distrust them, and then crouch down to open this duffel bag. To make sure I really see what's in it, I think I'll put my head in this perfect, pistol-whupping position . . . OW MY POOR CRANIUM!"

Anyway, this episode zipped along, but it really didn't tell us much that we hadn't already surmised. As before, I think this is because the show actually gives lots of information if you are paying close attention, so a 'reveal' like "It's Widmore's boat" doesn't really come as much surprsise. Ben is a creep, and apparently not so smoove with the ladies. Who'd a thunk it?

The big new explanation is just how everybody in Dharma was killed. Apparently Ben has a mass gassing device. How very Chemical Ali of him. This is especially chilling when you consider that it may be why Rousseau thought there was a plague on-island. Maybe they were gassed. Meanwhile, all through the first couple of seasons and right up to this episode, the Losties could have just been gassed and destroyed. Remember, Ben's still got his people out there, and I don't believe for a second that they are done with him.

Ben's like any cult leader. He just doesn't have time for Kool-Aide, or maybe he just doesn't like the stain it leaves on the lips. Poor guy, now he can't instantly kill everybody on the island! What will he do with his Saturday nights? I for one suggest he play the 50/50.

Hey Locke? Do you remember a time in the past when Ben allowed himself to be captured in order to infiltrate? How did that work out? Pretty bad, right? And THAT time, he wasn't even able to fully infiltrate. Do you remember how he got captured this time? Walked right up, didn't he?

Bad Locke! Where's that newspaper?

But there are some new questions. These are them:

4) Charlotte has a working phone and the knowledge that Ben has a mole on the boat. Any reason she wouldn't share that information with the boat?

8) Shaftbrows was sent by Ben to get Juliet to stop the boaties from destroying his beautiful chemicals. How is he still communicating with his people so specifically? Really beefs up that whole "the Others haven't forgotten about Ben" theory, don't it?

15) Wonderbrows appears along with those mysterious whispers. What does this tell us about whispers? My guess is that it's the sound time travel makes.

16) Why isn't . . . . oh, I'm out of ways to make fun of her very disturbing eyebrows. Why isn't she reeeeeeally mad at Ben for slaying her husbad Uriah-style? Three possibilities are, 3) she is mad but still loyal, 1) she didn't care a bit about Goodwin and her concern was just an act in front of Juliet on behalf of Ben, 3) the writers haven't thought of this. I like point 1) the best.

23) How cool is it to get further shades of meaning to what was happening with Goodwin and the tailies some 50 episodes later? I friggin' LOVE that about this show.

42) When will all the Others return? I think they, much like Washing Ton, are coming, they're coming, they're coming. The future beware, the present beware . . . I'm guessing you're going to see some or most of our beloved Losties becoming Others pretty soon. As creepy and socially stunted as Ben is, it's entirely possible that he's the extremely twisted good guy, or at least he's working toward what many characters would consider the good guy side. On the minus side, he looks like Gollum and is perfectly happy to kill everybody if he needs to. All leaders have their down sides.

65) Will Jack choose Juliet or Kate or ssnnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzz

Seriously, Lost writers? We do not care about Jack's love life.

Join us next time, when we hear Sawyer say:

"Hoss? Sweetheart Bruce Lee freckles, hoss. Baby Huey!"


L O S T

6 comments:

Buddy Dank said...

I care about Jack's love life!

Julius_Goat said...

No you don't.

Schaubs said...

Ben is now hunting Jack.

HighOnPoker said...

Dude, I think you may've missed something, but then again, I could be wrong. I think that the eyebrow chick who visited Juliette was not EyeBrows at all, but rather the smoke monster. I also think that the smoke monster is connected with Ben in some way. Ben was using it to tell Juliette what to do. He knew of the relationship between Juliette and Brow, so he used Brow's image. I thought the sound when Brow disappeared sounded like the weird rattling sound of the smoke monster.

Gunslinger said...

I agree with Jordan, I think the eyebrow chick was the smoke monster when she visited Juliet. We always heard the whispers before someone had a hallucination of some sort. How it knew this info about the freighties, who knows.

I'm very interested to know about the connection between Widmore and the Hansos, centering around the journal from the Black Rock. The journal was owned by Tovard Hanso, some relative of Alvar's, most likely for decades, which is how Alvar finds the island and sets up Dharma to investigate it. I always thought Widmore was part of the Dharmna Initiative, but if so, why would he have to bid on the journal in the auction? It seems like he learned how to get near the island from the journal (in 1996), and the freighters are his people, but if he isn't part of Dharma, how would he know that Ben killed everyone from Dharma with the gas?

Anyways, another fantastic writeup, Julius. Love 'em as always.

Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

I think Matthew Abadan either was part of the original Dharma project, or he has been hired by them to go back to the island to try to get rid of Ben, who killed off their remaining team some time ago with his mysterious gas.

I also thought one of the more interesting aspects of this show was that it suggested -- not stated as fact by any means but still suggested -- that the Others had no idea that Flight 815 was going to crash when it did. They portrayed that flashback as if Ben and the rest of the Others simply looked up and were shocked to see a plane crash, and then Ben made the split second decision to send Goodwin to get his ass killed.

Now, if the Others were not involved in setting up that plane crash, then who was? And how did everyone survive? And how did there just happen to be a spinal surgeon on board just when Ben needed a tumor removed from his spine? All good questions.