Sunday, February 24, 2008

Michael Craig Month Continues, And Just How Cheap I Am

OK, first of all the great Michael Craig still has a blog, and you should still be reading it if you have eyes and are literate.

Next, two or three brief paragraphs on the subject of me being a total sellout. There has been at least one person (and less than two) to cast dispersions, and I don't want to name names, but his name is Waffles and he is of course the self-and-everybody-else-professed worst poker player. I even had a post up about him battling Michael Craig for his soul until I realized that he actually had more of a problem with Michael than with me, which made the whole thing non-funny to me. So, I zapped it. Anyway, in a behind the scenes, exclusive, and completely fictitious interview with Waffles I found out the real reason that he's so cheesed at the Full Tilt scribe. Apparently poor Waffles has a rare disorder that gives him the short-term memory of a yellow-tailed grackle, and he wakes up each morning, total blank slate to read MIKEY C KILLED YOUR WIFE tatooed on his chest. It's like Memento, but with worse poker play and no Carrie-Anne Moss.

So, you know, that's sad. But still, there remains the far greater issue of artistic integrity . . . Waffles has suggested that I'm a two-bit hack who will sell out his blog for a mere $129. Shocking! Nothing could be further from the truth, and I need to set the record straight. Here is the full truth, for once and for all.

I'm a much cheaper two-bit hack than that. I'll gladly sell out his blog for much much much less, depending on the circumstances. Make me an offer.

I've actually been asked privately (and most likely jokingly) if I would pimp their blog next month for $100. The answer, of course, is yes.

You want the literally fives (one glass eye) of eyeballs that I can send you each day, it's yours. Just ship the dough, baby. Of course, if I like your blog, I'll probably do this for free from time to time, but if you want to see your name in baby blue on each of my posts, just ship ship ship. Full Tilt or Stars is fine, Julius_Goat at both sites. It'll be a done deal.

Anyway, read Michael Craig, and send Waffles a coupon for tattoo removal. It's the right thing to do.

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