This is the story,
Of a crazy lady
Who was stomping through the jungle every daaaaay.
She had a little girl,
Her name was Alex.
Her hair was going graaaaay.
This is the story,
Of a man named Johnny.
Who had some daddy-issues, so intense.
He couldn't kill his pop,
So he got Sawyer.
Sometimes he's just so dense.
Until one day when this lady met this fella,
And they knew that it was much more than a hunch,
That the two would just ignore each other
And that's the way they both became the island bunch
The Island Buuuunch (It's sweeps-time crunch!)
The Island Buuuunch (Hey, what's for lunch?)
That's the waaaay
They aaaalllll becaaaaaame
The Island Buuuuuuunch!!!
with Rousseau as Alice . . .
. . . and John Locke as Sam the Butcher.
*Oh yeah . . . poker. Um . . . the Others have files on the Castaways. Know your opponents.
Good? Fine. Moving on . . .
L O S T
Dude. Locke's dad. If you think you're in hell (and who could blame you?), and you're facing some guy in a murderous rage with a knife . . . perhaps you might just tone it down a little?
"Ha ha ha ha, your dad killed your mom, ha ha ha hahahaha it was my fault ho ho ha hee ripping up your letter ha ha ha OH MY POOR CRUSHED LARYNX!"
What did you expect, man?
Seriously, the moment when Locke is talking with Ben, perfectly normally, about this, that, and the Others things, and Ben gets around to, revealing "To join us, John, you need to show a demonstration of free will, John . . .that's why, John, you, John, have to kill your father, John. John." . . . and then they cut away to LockeDaddy strapped to an altar in the middle of camp . . .
Who doesn't find that unintentionally hilarious? What's Locke's thought process there? "Ooooooh, I was wondering why you had my dad tied up Temple of Doom style! The pieces are coming together now."
The theme of Abraham sacrificing Isaac that came to the fore during the Desmond-centric episodes a couple of weeks back was reversed. Now, to prove his faith, Lost's resident Man of Faith must give his dad a thorough stabbing. The son must sacrifice the father.
And speaking of that . . .John Locke is fooling himself if he doesn't think he's a killer. Which is awesome, because if we've learned one think about Locke, he's always willing to fool himself when his daddy gets involved. You can't kill your dad, because you aren't a killer. But you CAN tie your dad in a room and then lock (Locke?) him up with the man who's dedicated his life to killing him . . . and wait.
Right. No blood on your fingers. Now haul your father's corpse through the wilderness. How Sam Peckinpah of you.
Props to LOST for not making this a moment where Sawyer proves he's a better man now, he doesn't kill, etc. etc. etc. Not exacting revenge would be a better thing for a person's overall well-being, yeah . . . but it would be the most played-out TV trope ever, or at least in the top five. Nope, Sawyer was conflicted (and big ups to the actor, Josh Hollandaise I think -- or was it Worchestshire? for doing a superb job this episode), and Sawyer was regretful, but Sawyer killed his father's killer like his name was Inigo Montoya. I was really expecting him to walk away, in violation of everything we know about the guy.
But, much as Vincent Vega once said of Amsterdam, the true fun of this episode was to be found in the little things. The grace notes, the details, the hints and the set ups.
Oh, the set ups. Things are coming the next couple episodes that are going to crack this show open like an egg. I'm like an old dude sitting on a porch, muttering, 'trouble a-brewin' . . . won't you be the coot sitting next to me, murmurring, 'ayep' ?
Let's watch for . .
* Let us start with my favorite moment of the episode. Rousseau and her big big Box o' Dynamite. Great interplay between Locke and Rousseau. I really want more stuff like this in the show, just little moments that hint at other stories going on. I think it is safe to say that things are going to blow up real nice for the finale.
* The ambulance medic smiled at Locke-daddy right before he went under. So I think it is safe to say that Ben's group abducted him and this 'You, John, brought him here, John' stuff Ben is spouting is just so much asparagus.
* The Idiot Castaway Award of the week surprisingly goes to . . . Sayid! Yes, Sayid, when you absolutely, positively want to keep your new cell phone secret . . . fix it on the beach under cover of sunlight! Here comes Kate! Oh, you wacky Castaways, acting like morons to serve the whims and needs of the writers!
* I'm calling it. Season 3 closes with a Ben flashback. Anything else and I'm unleashing the Smokemonster.
* So our mystery parachutist Naomi speaks fluent English. That makes her babelfish 'I'm dying' routine last episode kind of annoying. Why wouldn't you just use the language you hear the people around you using, if you actually know it?
Verdict? She's a robot. She learned English by listening to Hurley and Charlie.
Actually? No, I don't really think that.
* I enjoyed that Sayid was immediately suspicious of Naomi, and then he was wrong. Maybe Sayid isn't really smart, maybe he's just in the perfect place for a total paranoiac to look smart. When he gets back to the real world, he'll be in TGIF's squinting at his plate and saying, "Tell me . . . Clay . . . if that IS your name . . . what makes you think that I would believe . . . that these . . . are really Natchos???"
* Jack is in on something with Juliette, obviously (No, not that. Well, maybe that, too. But I meant a plot.). I doubt upon reflection that it's the same something that Ben was planning with Juliette. I think Juliette has flipped on Ben, and only Jack knows it. Looking forward to next week, which almost has to be Jack's flashback to that missing week with the Others.
* Whatever is in Ben's 'Very Large Box' tells us where this island or "island" is. I hope they don't punk us, Season 1 style, and end with a shot of Locke looking into the box, without showing us what is in there. My guess? Another hatch. But there's an even bigger Scotsman in there, named 'Resmond', pushing a bigger button, and he calls everybody 'sister' and . . . OK, it's probably not that.
My second guess. Bananas. Just lots and lots of bananas. Thousands of them. And then Ben shrugs, and is all like, "What can I say? I just really like bananas."
L O S T